After the Hate, Replies to My Note 'Today I was called a faggot.'

Based on a Note I penned on March 28, 2024.

My kitty Bear in his tux with a rainbow bow tie.

I wrote this Note on March 28th after a traumatizing experience while on a NYC MTA bus. It generated nearly 400 replies that were emotional and at times surprising from Substack readers. I was overwhelmed by the support of strangers and friends from all types of backgrounds. There was a small amount of ugliness, even here on Substack bigots still spew their hate.

I decided I wanted to write about that response but sorting through 400 replies is time consuming and triggering. But now that it is June and Pride month it is the time to share it.

This is some of the ugly, most of these replies are still up, some have been removed.

“he said what we all think”

“Advertising your sexual orientation sets you apart from “normal” and you risk being treated differently, anywhere from mockery, to disdain, to assault.”

“And now you know how I feel when I’m surrounded by antifa or just plain old “progressives”…”

“Too bad you couldn’t just shoot him.”

“rape”

“faggot, lol”

“homo”

Paraphrasing these two:

Either you’re a liar or crazy, that doesn’t happen in Manhattan.

You’re mentally ill.

But that was the minority. Most others offered support, empathy and shared anger at the ridiculousness of it all.

“You are brave. His insecurities, disappointment with his own life, and lack of emotional maturity were taken out on you. You may have been afraid, but you stood your emotional ground. He mistook your silence for weakness. Silence is strength that he does not understand. And you are not alone in feeling alone when these people prey. Keep writing. Keep being brave. 💪🏻🏳️‍🌈🫶🏻

I'm really sorry this man assaulted you on the bus (and it is assault even though he didn't physically hit you).

To the people on this thread who are posting victim blaming comments, and advice on how to be “safe,” you need to stop.

Ziggy does not have to carry pepper spray, they don't have to respond the same way you claim you would, and they don't need to put themselves in extra danger.”

“I am so sorry. This is so wrong on so many levels. Please know, this kind of hatred has abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING to do with you. I feel sorry for that person - what an horrible way to walk around in this world. I wish I could give you a hug. I wish I could have been there to stand next to you and sternly and strongly say to this individual “enough!!!” I realize I can’t be there for you personally but with you sharing this, I can promise you I will be there for the next person that I witness this kind of bullshit happening to. May you find peace and know there are those of us out there who have your back. Humans loving humans. ❤️☮️”

I recommend reading through the comments if you need to feel hopeful about the state of humanity. All the bad ones are at the very end, if you don’t interact with a comment it drops to the bottom of the page. That was the best way to deal them, they just kind of disappeared, swallowed up by the good.

There were replies from parents and grandparents with LGBTQ family who were worried about how the person they love may have to deal with harassment. And those who have dealt with their own episodes of trauma at the hands of bigots. There were many prayers of love and wishes for peace.

The replies that made me not regret posting about my trauma were the ones of people having their eyes opened, people stopping to think about what would they do if they witnessed a LGBTQ person being harassed. Those who promised to stand up for the gay community, whether for the first time or as a continuing daily exercise.

This was not easy to write about as you can imagine but I am glad I did.

HAPPY PRIDE MY FRIENDS!